Friday, July 19, 2013

5 Signs Your Boyfriend is Sticking His Penis in Another Girl: Part 1 of 534

We've all learned from past experiences the signs of cheating. Both men AND women can be unfaithful, but since I haven't gone lesbian (yet), I can only speak from what I've seen guys do and the stories I've heard from girlfriends. Here are five surefire signs that your man is double-dipping.

(1) He's Never Available on Date Night

There's always some bullshit excuse. He's with his guy friends. He's too tired. He's visiting his dying grandmother in the hospital. What he really means to say is that he met some hot waitress at Hooters and she gives great head.

(2) You Find Random Condom Wrappers on His Bedroom Floor

"Oh no, baby. That's from us." No it isn't. He didn't let a condom wrapper sit on the floor since you last had sex....a week ago. It's from the dirty whore he porked last night while you weren't there.

grab the rubbers
At least they're using protection.

(3) He's Constantly Reminding You That He's "Only Had Three or Four Partners" in His Life

BLASPHEME! If he's that secure with his number, he doesn't need to repeatedly throw it in your face. Read in between the lines. "I've only slept with a few people" means "I boned my high school's entire female student population and a little bit of the faculty too. Oh, and I might have syphilis."

(4) He's Oddly Protective of His Cell Phone

He doesn't need to show you everything he's doing on it, and snooping is an awful thing to make a habit of. Everyone deserves some privacy. But if he takes his cell into the bathroom with him, it's probably not because he wants to play Pac-Man while he's taking a shit.

sending nude pics
He's definitely sending her dick pics.

(5) He Hides Your Relationship From Other People

Whether you're dating or "officially together," if he's working overtime so that no one knows about it, odds are that it's because he's playing Hide the Sausage with four or five other girls.

No comments:

Post a Comment