Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts

Monday, November 11, 2013

5 Things That Happen When You Spiritually Turn 80

In your 20s, you're supposed to be wild and free.  While the body may be up for it, the mind has moved far beyond the years of bar-hopping and bed-hopping and really wants to stay home to watch Wheel of Fortune.  Here are five things to expect when you're an 80-year-old living in a 25-year-old's body.

 #1 Spicy Food Gives You Heartburn. So Does Food That Isn't Spicy.

You used to be able to go to Pin Kaow Thai and get the Level 10 Yam Khor Moo Yang without so much as batting an eye.  Now you can't even finish a bowl of rice without crying.  Wipe the snot from your nose, champ.  You've officially switched to Bran Flakes.

spicy food
Nope. 

#2 You Can't Go Out With Your Friends Because You Have to Stay Home and Finish Your Book.

And it's not something hip and young like 50 Shades of Grey or Perks of Being a Wallflower.  Odds are that it came highly recommended from Suzanne Somers and you keep it right next to your Thighmaster.

#3 If It's 9:30, You Should've Been in Bed an Hour Ago.

Your day starts at 6:00 a.m. without fail.  If it hits 9:00 and your mouthguard isn't even in yet, you're screwed.

log cabin
Go to bed, Grandma.

#4 Everything Has Germs. Everything.

You take a Clorox wipe to everything you touch before you touch it--and after.  An imminent staph infection lingers on every surface.

#5 T-Shirts Are Inappropriate. Tank Tops Are Inappropriate. Skin is Inappropriate.

If it's not a cardigan buttoned up to your nose, you're showing entirely too much skin.  What kind of impression are you giving people when you wear sandals without socks?  Quit dressing like a prostitute.

bundled up
You look great!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Knowing When to Shut the Fook Up

The other day, I lightly debated the idea of drama as entertainment and deduced that ultimately, we love it and we need it, in life and in art.  (Read the blog here!)

Recently, however, I've been confronted by another topic: the idea of a good mystery being used to grasp people's attention.

Here is a handful of scenarios to consider:

(1) I once worked a gig with a group of beautiful, talented, smart girls, who were all open with their feelings and would talk about pretty much anything.  The girl I was most curious about was the one who spoke very little.

(2) You'll frequently see men and women offered the world by a particular love interest, and yet they often want the one who barely expresses interest.

(3) It's the tight-lipped celebrities whose lives often get probed the most.  People talk about them, chase them, and openly wonder about their lives.

(4) And for crying out loud, how many times did your mother tell you not to "give it up too soon"?

You know what they say: You always want what you can't have.

It makes me think...This is clearly something we should be implementing in our entertainment; and when people know what they're doing, they do!  In many cases, we're taught in life to give little in the beginning to prolong something, i.e. make a man chase you and he won't lose interest.


So shouldn't we be making audiences chase the characters of the book or film so that they don't lose interest?  Isn't that what keeps the page turning--the desire to know more?

It's a fairly simple concept and one that might seem obvious, but I don't think we all automatically utilize it.  I know that there are certainly characters in my books who could stand to leave more to the imagination.  I've found myself asking: "Why will the reader keep reading?"

Maybe it's time to leave audiences more in the dark.  Just an itty.

And in an effort to practice what I preach, stay tuned for my next blog, where I will reveal my one true love.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

But not really.