Why Bottled Water Is a Fart in the Asshole of Society

So you all know that I've been on this buy-local, quit-eating-factory-farmed-meat, recycle-everything-you-can kick lately.  I'm slightly obsessed, evidenced by how annoyed I get when I see a Styrofoam cup in the garbage at work.

Growing up (like many of you, I'm sure), I was encouraged to drink bottled water for reasons of sanitation.  Lately, I've delved into this a little deeper.  If you know me, then you know that bottled water is something I would never buy unless I absolutely had to -- and I don't.  The people consuming about 50 billion bottles a year might disagree with me.

I read a fascinating article from National Geographic on the harm present in buying bottled, and the consequences are alarming.  I was perhaps most stunned to learn that it can take up to THREE liters of water to make ONE liter of bottled water.  Efficient?  Probably not.

Then there's the fact that transporting these bottles and keeping them cold inflicts a pain on the planet all its own.  Where do 80% of these recyclables end up?  The garbage.  When they DO finally break down, all the chemicals and bacteria and toxins and poison go right back into the land and water.  Kinda makes these bad boys look less refreshing, eh?


photo by DJ Waldow

Some can brush aside the environmental impact, which should be terrifying enough on its own.  How about the side effects on your health?  The idea that bottled is safer might be grossly misrepresented.  For instance, the plastic contains toxins like polyethylene terephthalate that can contaminate your body with DEHA and benzylbutyl phthalate, a human carcinogen and hormone disruptor, respectively.  That's not even getting into the bacteria present.  The chemicals potentially present in each bottle are what have some scientists convinced that tap is the safer option.

Bottled isn't good for your teeth either.  Why?  Less fluoride, which leads to a greater risk for more cavities.  And nearly 50% of parents (at least) are opting for bottled over tap.

Some cities have taken the initiative to do away with bottled water completely (bravo!) like Bundanoon (Australia -- they were the first).  Chicago has added a five-cent tax to each bottle, and Seattle and San Fran won't buy water for city use.

I mean, EW.  Why would you want to?!

Still, bottled water is a $100-billion-a-year industry (behind pop and beer -- good job, America).  And don't think that we're the ones benefiting financially.  This water (intended for public use) is being pumped by these companies, bottled, and sold for 2,900 times the price of tap -- right back into their pockets.

Quit drinking out of plastic bottles, shitheads.