3 Things You're Too Sore to Do After Crossfit

#1 Eat

After a grueling workout, all you want to do is go home and stuff your face.  But just a minute: 43,289 push jerks later and the mere thought of lifting a sandwich to your mouth makes your soul go flaccid.  The best you can do is lay down, fling the food into the air with a spoon, and hope it just somehow lands in your mouth.  Your family is two minutes away from laying out newspaper and putting your food in a doggy bowl.

Sorry.  No. 

#2 Sit on the Toi-Toi

Ladies, you might as well cut off all liquids.  Squats and lunges have destroyed your I-Have-to-Tinkle leg muscles for the next three days.  No worries, because you're pretty sure a little pee came out when you PRed your power snatch earlier on.  Ease up on the fiber too, lest you have to make a dipsy doodle in your incapacitated state.

Good luck with that.

#3 Wash Your Hair

No.  Just, no.  Your arms were declared DOA.  Your arms are done.  Thrusters and push presses and, well, how do we put this gently?  Two days from now, your hair will be greasy enough to fry an egg on your head.  At least you look ridiculously good naked, even with the bag you'll have to wear over your head.
  

This gentleman did not attend Crossfit.